More Toddler Humor

My husband knows two knock-knock jokes. My son just makes his own.

Toddler: "Knock-knock."

Hubby: "Who's there?"

Toddler: "Superman."

Hubby: "Superman who?"

Toddler: .... "Th-That's it. That's his name."

Geez, Dad, keep up. LOL

Dorchester Goes Digital

Dorchester has officially announced a decision to abandon production of mass-market paperbacks, and begin offering only E-books or trade paperback, print-on-demand books. This comes on the heels of a recent decision by RWA to remove Dorcester from its 2010 Nationals roster over billing/contract disputes.

What does this mean for Dorchester? It appears they are hoping to level out their decline in revenue. Their sales have dropped sharply as the popularity of E-readers has risen, and with this move, they are looking to adapt to the changing market. It may also (speculating here) ease those aforementioned troubles with contracts and payouts, once the ball begins rolling favorably again for Dorchester.

What does this mean for readers? For readers, it's simply a question of finding your favorite romances from this publisher in a new format. E-readers are sharper, more versatile, and more adjustable for the avid reader than ever (you can adjust the font size yourself for better readability). Go to your local electronics store, or ask a fellow reader, and you're bound to run into a few examples of this new gadgetry.

And finally, for authors, this is a look at the new face of publishing. More publishers are likely to follow Dorchester's example, because print-on-demand requires that they only produce as many print copies as are ordered, while E-books are popular because they are instantly available and can be stored in a mobile, hand-held library for the consumer's convenience. That increases selling power, as well as profit margin.

This may also level the playing field between old dogs like Dorchester, and relative new kids like The Wild Rose Press, both of whom will now be following a similar model. You may see greater competition between publishers, not only with regard to pricing, but for your most sparkling stories. Buckle down, scribblers, it's a whole new neighborhood out there. Bring your best game to the playground.

Toddler As Comic Relief

One of the best things about being a parent is the way my son makes me laugh. He's a toddler now, and he's developing a sense of humor. Even when he's NOT working on his sense of humor, he's funny.

We took him to his first theater movie, Toy Story 3 (which he almost sat all the way through, and which Mom and Dad enjoyed as much as he did, BTW). After that, he Really, Really Wanted a Buzz Lightyear. So off to the store we went and got him one (which Mom and Dad enjoy as much as he does, BTW). It really is a cool toy. It talks, it knows when the helmet is up or down, and it responds to your voice or noises. Where was this thing when I was a kid?

The first night he has it, he's playing in the kitchen with it while we are making dinner. Buzz comes out with (paraphrasing here), "I'm Buzz Lightyear, from Gamma Something-Something, Sector Something-Something. Who's in charge here?"

My son, without missing a beat, answered, "Me."

Yep. You got it, kiddo. *snort*

Renn Faire Revisited - 2nd Trip 2010 Recap

Must have been the weather. It was PERFECT yesterday for our second trip to the Sterling Renaissance Festival. While we didn't get the Ultimate Parking Spot this time, we did get a great day. We saw a Pirate Show, our toddler went on just about every ride possible, and we caught a showing of Don Juan & Miguel. I bought an ocarina from Fire Om Earth, and I am currently learning how to play it, much to the distress of my family's ears. *grin*

We ate at the tavern, too. I had my first Portabello Mushroom Sandwich, which was pretty good, but their pierogies were to die for! I was supposed to meet a friend there, and we somehow managed to miss each other ALL DAY! She and her family had an awesome time, too.

Oddly enough, now that my middle class noble outfit is complete, I find myself wanting to go backward and revisit my wench outfit (the first outfit I put together for the Renn). I had added some pirate trappings to it, but I think next year I'll just wear that, rather than the blue. I wasn't afraid to get it dirty, for one thing. The grass was still wet in most places from all the torrential rains we've been getting. It's nice to change things up, anyway. Yarrgh!

RWA Removes Dorchester From Conference

I'm a few days late in posting this, but RWA has canceled all Dorchester Publishing events, including editor and agent appointments, at the Nationals conference due to a matter of the publisher's unfulfilled contractual obligations with some of its authors. This does not mean Dorchester is banned permanently from the Nationals. It appears Dorchester is working on the issue, but as of the conference it will not be resolved. They should be welcomed back next year (provided, I'm sure, that they make good on the current problem). Read the full story at Publishers Weekly's blog here:

RWA Dings Dorchester Over Unpaid Bills

Hat Trick

Question: What's a self-respecting pirate wench to do when faced with hatlessness for an upcoming Pirate's Weekend at the Renaissance Festival?

Answer: Make one!

A friend invited me to the Pirate Invasion this weekend at the Sterling Renaissance Festival. This is one of the few years I have gone to Faire more than once in a season. I had the clothing - a wench outfit I bought in the early years of my trips to the Renn. But I had no hat, and almost no money for one, because I bought a fancy tall hat for our last trip to the Renn more than a week ago.

So, I did what any cheapskate person with a knack for creativity does. I made a hat out of one I already had at my disposal! First, I wrangled an old, flat-crowned straw hat out of my mother. Sucker had a scary-looking multicolored sweatband, and the brim was curled up all the way around so that it resembled a chip-and-dip set. Yikes!

Then I did some hunting around for tricorne hat designs, and lots of watching of the three "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies (Oh, so painful and all, having to watch Orlando Bloom kiss Kiera Knightley's knee like that. Flutter!).

I re-blocked (reshaped) the hat crown by wetting it with warm water and stuffing it with wet paper towels, then squashed it down onto an upturned bowl of the appropriate size to mold it as it dried. Good thing I did that first, because I think the sweatband was glued as well as stitched, so the water helped loosen the glue.

Once it was shaped and dried, I removed the old sweatband. I then sewed on a new maroon sweatband to match my clothing, and used black seam binding around the brim. I then spent some cash on feathers to decorate it, and sewed the brim up into a tricorne, using buttons I already had on hand.

The result, as you can see, is a (mostly) proper pirate wench's hat, and I discovered afterward that using straw or seagrass for these is pretty common - though not as popular as wool or leather. The crown's a bit high, but I love the result. Can't wait to show it off at the Faire!