Extroversion for Introverts

Come Out From Hiding, Writer

The season’s first book signing is in the bag, and it was awesome. I met so many cool people in Waterloo, NY for the annual Celebrate Commemorate festival in honor of Memorial Day (which was founded in Waterloo!).

Part of the fun of book signings is meeting people from all over and (often) spending the day with fellow writers. Don’t get me wrong. Book signings used to terrify me. I started out as introverted as you could possibly get, much more content to be part of the wallpaper than to seek out any attention whatsoever. I’d hide behind my table, and would never think of talking to passersby.

Then, somehow, a few years into doing them, I realized something: book signings are not about me. They’re about my books (as crazy as that may seem). I know my books inside and out, so it wasn’t hard to distill them down into a line or two of, “What’s it about?” if someone asked. (“Well, I write paranormal lite romance, paranormal romance, and urban fantasy. Think of my paranormal lite books as small-town romance with a dash of paranormal in it. My urban fantasy would be good for fans of X or Y.”)

More importantly, book signings are about your visitors. What do they like reading? What books have they picked up lately? Do they like ebooks, print books, audiobooks? You love books. People who come to your table love books. That’s already something in common to talk about, and you might find a new author to love.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Confidence is a skill, and you can develop it with practice. The more signings you do, the more you’ll sharpen that talent for looking at ease in a chatty crowd even if you aren’t. Let’s face it: you had the moxie to finish writing and publish your book. That’s a game changer all by itself. If you can do that, you can certainly get out there and sell. Here are a few things you can do.

Up and Out

Psst. Sales aren’t the only point of book signings. Pressure’s off, so you can come out from behind your table.

Many authors make the mistake of staying behind their table for the entire signing. This passive body posture actually alerts people in a nonverbal way that you are less open to engagement.

I know it’s hard, believe me, introverted writer. But you, too, can overcome the squirmy sensation of being noticed. Shift the focus from yourself to the person at your table. Ask them about their favorite books. What do they love about that crazy character in the novel they just read? If you do need to sit down for a few minutes and “recharge” the energy you spend on chatting with people, do so … but get back up and out there. The more you engage people in a topic you both love, the more likely they will be curious to see what you write. You might make a new fan, or even a friend.

Be Giving

Asking someone to part with their money without establishing a relationship is something like that guy who always wants to “borrow” money from you but never pays it back. Eventually, you start avoiding that guy when you spot him, don’t you?

It helps a lot if you have something to offer them before asking someone to make a purchase. Do you have bookmarks? Great! Grab a handful and give them out to people walking by. In a bookstore, you’re bound to have people accept one. I did this just this weekend for someone walking past with an armload of used books, and she seemed quite grateful to accept it.

Pens are also a welcome gift. I’ve never had someone refuse my offer to take one. Wait until your supplier runs a sale and stock up.

If you’re creative in other ways, you could offer people a simple handmade bracelet or other inexpensive craft. (Some authors make watercolor bookmarks using their talent in visual art.)

Since you’re a writer, you could also give a short story on a printed flyer. This not only provides your visitor a gift, but showcases your writing talent.

Try it Out

You don’t have to know everything all at once. Try different things. Get out into the aisle with your handful of bookmarks and offer them to people. Ask open-ended questions that get people to chat with you about books, writing, or a subject you know something about (if they’re in the pet section and you write books with dogs, you might ask about their pet). If something doesn’t work, you can always change up what you do. Nothing is written in stone. Just be genuine when you do strike up a conversation!

Networking

As I mentioned above, the most important part of book signings is not the sale. If the money was the biggest point, we’d all be on the road full-time.

The best part of a book signing is networking. You’re there to be memorable (hopefully, in a positive way). You’re getting your name out there and providing people a face behind the books, an opportunity for a personal connection you just can’t get when buying a book from an online store. From that personal connection, people will develop a stronger relationship with and memory of you that helps to drive awareness of your books. You needn’t overshare, and certainly should keep your personal life separate, but there’s a wealth of things you can talk to people about, especially when they’re book fans.

When your book signing is over, you’ll come back to your computer with new inspiration and a few fun memories and experiences. Gathering experiences is what fuels our writing, isn’t it?

Had a recent book signing experience you’d like to share? Drop me a line! I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Narcissistic Villains: It’s All About Me, and the Crazy Must Be You

We all know that a good villain thinks he’s the hero of his own story.  But a narcissistic villain is convinced of it.

Let’s face it: no one wants to read about a hero who easily overcomes all opposition.  That’s bo-o-o-oring.  We like watching a little hobbit take three films (or books) to arrive at Mount Doom in spite of incredible odds to get that ring into the fire, so we can yell, “Hooray!”

We read books and watch films to share in the adventure, so that when the hero wins, we win, no matter what challenges are thrown our way.  It’s so much more satisfying when those challenges are … well, really challenging.

But what about that narcissist?

Kristen Lamb wrote a great blog on narcissists and gaslighting, a common control technique.  These are particularly scary villains, because they’re very hard to fight.  All the more satisfying, then, when we see one overcome by our persistent hero.

Gaslighting, a term borrowed from an old film aptly titled “Gaslight,” is a technique used by narcissists to make a victim believe their concerns are all in their head.  Imaginary.  Overblown.  That the victim is out of touch with reality in their beliefs.  It’s more common than you think.  But what great villains they make.

And, as I’ve always said, your hero is only as good as his opposition.  The stronger your villain, the better your hero’s going to look when he wins the day.  Since most villains believe they’re the hero—in fact, believe it so strongly that they’ll risk anything to beat your hero—you have the perfect push-pull to drive a villain-driven story.

How do you beat a gaslighter, then?

It takes immense strength and conviction, as well as calm.  Gaslighters thrive on emotional outburst.  If your hero lets his or her temper or emotion get the better of them, they’re going to fail, because the villain will then say, “They’re crazy!  Look how ridiculous they sound!”  And your hero will lose.  Matter of fact, let your hero lose a couple of times.  Show your readers what’s at stake if they do lose.  When the hero later wins, it will be that much more of a victory.

Every good battle arc should have a moment when it seems all is lost for your hero.  Here, it would be when the gaslighter seems to have triumphed and put the victim “in their place.”  But the hero that sticks to his convictions will eventually exhaust the gaslighter’s patience.  After all, a “victim” who doesn’t respond to the bait is no victim at all.

Have you written a narcissist or gaslighter?  I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Happy Writing (and Reading)!