New Year's Eve Reflections
Like many of us, I am extremely happy to say goodbye to 2020. It's been a long, awful year, and even though I know 2021 isn't going to be better as soon as the year kicks over, the symbolic turning of the page will feel so much better.
Themes
For 2020, I started with a word that was to be the theme of my year. I wrote it in my journal.
The irony is, I didn't know how much I was going to need this word. Everything went wrong this year, and when I tell you the one good month I had was January 2020, I'm not kidding. I had to remember, every day, to be like water and flow around the rocks I couldn't move. It was hard. It was so hard. I cried a lot. I leaned on friends and family more than I ever have. I learned a hell of a lot about gratitude. I learned how undeserving we humans are of the dogs in our lives. My Macey kept me sane that first two weeks when my son was in the hospital and my husband there with him.
Somehow, I managed to start feeling like myself again. The world is still a mess, and COVID-19 is still a thing, but there is light at the end of this tunnel, and despite what I'd been feeling, it is not an oncoming train. I don't feel as strong as people say I have been, even though it's nice they think that. But I am amazed at how many hits I can take and remain standing. More than I thought I could. It is tiring, though. I kept coming back to that theme. If I could not fight 2020, I would have to flow with it. Adaptability has never been my strong suit. I am a very stubborn, very Capricorn woman of habit. So it took the mountain that is 2020 to move me.
Back to the Beginning
These days, I find myself falling back to the things that brought me joy when I was growing up. Drawing. Reading. Watching old movies and TV shows. And it occurred to me that I needed a new theme word for 2021.
This year, I'm going back to the basics. I'm going to revisit that excitement I experienced as a kid and let it fill the things I do. Just because I am an adult, doesn't mean I have to give up the wonder and joy I felt as a girl. Instead, I'm going to dive into the things that make me happy. Getting my hands in the dirt. Sketching and reading new books. Decorating a room in a fresh way that makes me smile.
I'm going to let being happy become my goal. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy. Just happiness, wherever I can find it and in whatever measure it's there. Like a joyful scavenger hunt. You're welcome to join me. Happy New Year!
